Ep156 Transcript: Interview with Merit Kahn

Andrea Vahl: Have you been thinking about producing your own one person show? Well, my guest today, Merit Kahn has done just that. She’s gone from selling out her show in Denver to bringing it to other venues in the United States. So find out how she did it in today’s episode.

Intro: Hello, dreamers. Welcome to the late starters club, giving you the inspiration, mindset, and tools you need to start something midlife and beyond remember, it’s never too late to follow your dreams.

Andrea Vahl: Hello, late starters. It’s your host, Andrea Vahl, and I am here with the amazing Merrit Kahn.

So you guys, I’m so excited for this interview because I have known Merrit for a long time now. She is a fellow speaker friend of mine, but she is getting out there and doing creative things in a bigger way. She’s also on our moms unhinged show that we do. So she’s speaker comedian, but let me actually read her official, official bio because it’s so good and she’s got so many things she does.

So, Merit Kahn performs on three stages. Keynotes for conferences, one woman shows in theaters and comedy sets in clubs. She’s a producer, writer, entrepreneur, certified speaking professional, world traveler, mom, and terrible cook. I want people to know that you wrote that. I did not write that.

Merit Kahn: Yes. Well, it’s true. I’m not perfect.

Andrea Vahl: So I am so excited to talk. Especially about your one woman shows. Cause I think that’s just such a fascinating thing that you’ve been doing and you’ve been having such great success with it. So we’re going to dive deeper into what it takes to launch a one woman show. And you are, you know, midlife here. And, and I think there’s probably a lot of people that have this idea of a show being in them and wanting to perform.

So what, what prompted you to start this and write this and produce this.

Merit Kahn: Well, first, let me say midlife is a little bit optimistic. Andrea. I don’t quite think I’ll make it to 106, but okay. You never know. And besides the fact that I wanted to be on your podcast and I had to start something late in my life in order to do that.

I think, you know, when I started studying comedy back in 2014, it was really to be more deliberately funny for my keynotes that I was doing in my primary business was keynote speaking at conferences on sales and leadership topics. And then a funny thing happened. Once I did my first comedy set, I really fell in love with that.

And I thought, Ooh, I got to do that more. So the show actually grew up out of idea a friend of mine. Said, you know, what are the 50 things you want to do before you are 50 years old? And I started writing my list of 50 things, but there were only two things on my list. And one was travel back to Southeast Asia, where I had been when I was 25 and the other was write and perform a one woman show and I had never had that conscious thought before, but all of a sudden it’s staring at me on this page and I’m like, wait, what is this?

Andrea Vahl: Sorry, how did this get here?

Merit Kahn: I had no idea. It was so, it was so strange, but I knew once I wrote that on the paper, I just stared at the page and I was like, Oh, I don’t need 48 other things. I just want that. And then I just started writing and I really thought that my show was going to be a one-time thing.

Really a, truly a celebration of my birthday with my friends and kind of rehashing my life story, but I was telling it through the lens of comedy and after I did the show, I thought, Oh yeah, that is not a one time thing. That was too much fun. And so now I’m figuring out how to do it for my life.

Andrea Vahl: Yeah. And I just want to take a pause because first of all, she says, I just thought I’d perform it for some of my friends. Yeah. 350. of her friends. She sold out two shows back-to-back Friday and Saturday night. I went to it. It was amazing. And I just think that’s, it was just incredible. I was really, I was just blown away by your show.

I was like, Oh, let’s go support merit. And then I was like, Oh, crap. That was so good.

Merit Kahn: Thank you. Everybody should check out my promo video. Cause Andrea is the first up saying how much she loved it. I forgot that my promo video.

Andrea Vahl: It was so good. It was. So that is, that is really cool. And you know, you like, so you, how long Did that take from idea to getting that produced?

I know it was at the end of the year. Did it, was it, did you have that idea like early in the year? How long, what was the process there?

Merit Kahn: It was a year. It took a year. The first nine months I filled with procrastination pretty much thought about it. Talked about it, wrote about it, dreamed about it, and did nothing to create it.

And then I, I, you know, it was one of those people like, you know, those people you have in your life and once you tell them you’re going to do something, if you don’t do it. You’ll look bad to them and you don’t want to look bad to that particular person. So I told one of those kinds of friends that I was going to do this show.

And then as soon as I heard the words come out of my mouth, I was like, Oh crap. I just told Tracy now I have to do it. And that, you know, put a little bit of pressure on me. And so I, I function well like that on deadlines and, you know, social pressure. So I. Started talking it into existence. And the next thing I knew I, I booked a theater.

I did all the, I did it all backwards. I booked the theater. I put up the webpage. I described the show all before I finished writing it. I know I’m not exactly proud to say that out loud, but that is the truth. And, but I knew I couldn’t do this alone, so I recruited my dear friend and absolutely wonderful comedic talent, Karen Ruth White, and she has worked with me for many years on my keynote business, but I, I said, Hey, I’ve got this idea and I want to write the show and she was my co writer and literally workshopped every single word of that show with me. And so I, I think when you have a big a big goal, a big dream like that, the, for me, what I’ve learned over the course of my life is that things happen faster and the product is better when I collaborate with other people.

Andrea Vahl: Yeah. And I love what else you did with this here is you started getting it out into the world before it was ready. And. You know, that just gives it momentum. And, you know, I think if you wait to write it, you know, sometimes that, that book or that play or that, whatever it is, doesn’t get written. And so by almost launching it before you’re ready, you’re, you know, you’re, you’ve got a date there, you’ve got.

You’ve got the momentum to get it done because it has to get done. So I love that. And I, I also love that you told someone about it too, that that first person, because that’s huge too. And it just helps with accountability. So I think, I think the way you did it was perfect.

Merit Kahn: Well, thank you. Well, now to put a little bit more social pressure, I eventually see the show as a Broadway musical played by Sutton Foster.

You know, my dream is to sit in the back of the theater. And watch my life on stage performed by a real trained actor. I think that would be amazing. So we’ll it here first, everyone.

Andrea Vahl: Hey, put it out there.

Merit Kahn: If anyone know Sutton, let me know.

Andrea Vahl: That’s great. Well, I also want to talk about, and now the cool thing too, is you’re taking this to Chicago, you’re taking it to New York.

I mean, that is huge to go from. Performing it here in Denver with this, you know, group of people, you know, to taking it other places. And that is, that’s truly amazing. And you’ve, it’s great to see how you’ve made that happen, but I want to first talk about how you renamed it. So when it launched in Denver, it was called the book of merit and now it’s called who chiseled that.

Merit Kahn: Yeah. So. Yeah. So when I performed the show in 2019, truly for my 50th birthday as a one time only thing, Book of Merit was fine because it was about me, right? It was my celebration, my friends, it was, you know, it was, that was the purpose. Since then, I’ve really. Come to see and, and hearing people’s experiences after they’ve been in the audience, it was so much more than my little story.

It’s really a relatable look at life’s ups and downs and how every one of us can really rewrite our past to rewire our future and when I really thought about it. You know, Book of Merit is, it’s a little narcissistic if we’re all honest with each other, but you know, it was, it was about me and because the show is about so much more than my story, it really needed a bigger name.

It needed something that could be what I hope to be kind of an iconic phrase. Who chiseled that is really the expression of anytime somebody tells you something isn’t possible yet, you kind of ask yourself, well, who chiseled that over the door? Who said, who carved that in stone is sort of my version of that or my father’s version of that.

And I think it’s a good little, just a quick three word trigger that reminds us like. No, maybe it could go another way. Maybe there’s another possibility here. And I think really that’s, that’s the purpose of this podcast. Like you don’t have to keep going the way that you’re going. You could start something late in life.

Like who chiseled that, that, that that’s not possible. And I think that’s really. You know, the essence of why I changed the name, because it’s about so much more than my life story. It’s, it’s an opportunity to look at your own life, your own narrative and. And really find the new opportunities for yourself.

Andrea Vahl: Yeah, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. I love that. And that theme comes up throughout the show. And it’s just it’s, it’s so great. So great. So, cool. I love that. I love that renaming. So, you know, you, you Performed this for the first time when you were 50 it was, it was your actual birthday, wasn’t it?

One of those days?

Merit Kahn: My birthday was, is actually December 2nd. So the show was November 22nd. Oh yeah.

Andrea Vahl: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Good. What do you think, you know, launching and doing this show was easier later in life than it might’ve been, you know, when you were twenties cause you know, younger, whatever.

How do you think being older contributed to this success there?

Merit Kahn: I think in my twenties, I can remember like really hustling. I was in radio advertising sales was my first career and you know, I had something to prove. So I was constantly grinding it out and, and pushing and I would just do anything and nothing.

You know, I just, I was, I just did so much activity. And then later in life I learned more, right? I was smarter, so I was maybe more strategic. And now launching my show, I know the importance of working my network and connecting with people and, and I’ve nurtured, I have 30 years worth of business experience and, and community and relationship building.

So it is faster. And, and I’ve also. Reignited that passion that I remember having as a younger person starting in my career with something to prove. And I feel that growing again, but I, but I have it backed up with wisdom and relationships that I think are, I can already see are, are providing, you know, a lot of value in starting something later in life.

Andrea Vahl: That’s awesome. I love that.

Merit Kahn: Can I give you an a a good example actually?

Andrea Vahl: Yes, of course.

Merit Kahn: And it it’s with the show in New York. So this is a funny thing how this happened. So I happened to be doing a keynote for a business client on a Friday in November. And I thought, all right, well let me look around.

I grew up not too far from that area. I’ve got a whole network of some of my high school friends who kind of stayed local and it would be fun to perform in the area where I grew up, Uhhuh. ’cause I feel like that. That’s sort of part of my path. Well, I started cold calling theaters in Westchester County.

And I randomly accidentally called this theater that I’d never been to, but it’s absolutely beautiful. It’s called the Manor Club of Pelham. And they are, they just kind of, I talked with this woman and I said, you know, I’ve got this show and I’d really love to, and at that time I was thinking I would just rent the theater and do all of the work myself.

And she was talking to me about, well, What they need is they’re looking to build their subscriber base. And so I said, well, let’s get creative. You know, how can my show help you do what you need to do? Right. So that was something I’ve taught people for years. Always ask, you know, what’s in it for them.

What are they trying to accomplish? How can you help? So I ended up talking to this woman who runs the, she’s the president of the theater, and then I looked her up on LinkedIn and it turns out. We had already been connected in 2019. I had applied, she was running a woman’s conference and I had applied to speak at that event.

It didn’t work out at that time, but I thought, isn’t that interesting? You know, when you talk about what did I learn earlier that I’m applying now to this new venture. I knew how to make a cold call. I knew how to listen to what was important for someone else. I already built relationships and, and she and I looked at it and she’s wow, we are definitely supposed to do something.

And so now what, how it ended up working is they’ve hired me to do my show, to bring my show to New York and, and they’re taking care of all the publicity and the tickets, all the things that a producer does that are a lot more difficult than showing up and performing in my view. So. And, you know, it’s that’s where I want to take the show.

That’s, that’s what I want to keep going. So it was really a matter of, you know, she’s using my show to do their, you know, what they need to do. And it was just, yeah.

Andrea Vahl: Yeah. Yeah. That is so awesome. I love that. I didn’t hear that whole backstory and you guys, I was with Merit. In Las Vegas before we were doing our world series of comedy event and the moms on hinged in Las Vegas, when she found out about the New York deal coming through, it was so fun.

And I didn’t hear that backstory.

So that’s so cool. So cool. So yeah. So, so talk about like the bigger vision. So you’ve got, you booked Chicago that. You know, and that you’re kind of responsible for filling that New York is going to be kind of a co, you know, a co responsibility. How, how are you looking to take it to this bigger stage next?

Are you looking to travel with it? What’s the, what’s the big plan with what you’re doing and how does that blend into your current business?

Merit Kahn: Great questions. And to be perfectly honest, I’m, I’m still at the point where I’m figuring this out as I go along. So I think that’s another, you know, lesson that I’ve learned along the way is I don’t have to have all the answers right out of the gate.

I just have to keep moving forward and doing the next thing. And, you know, just everything kind of leads to the next thing. And, and not that I’m not being deliberate about it, but my vision currently is that my, my. The three stages are happening simultaneously, like you said in my introduction, so I very much love my keynote speaking business.

And so my thinking is that that’s since that’s the real revenue generator that’s still leading the charge. So when I get a speaking event and normally those are booked out, you know, at least a few months in advance, then I would look around in that area and think, well, all right, I’m near there. You know, is there a theater I can rent?

Ideally, I would get to the point where I’ve got management or a booking agent, and they’re finding those theaters in that 100 to 300 seat range. And then, you know, they’re, they’re building out the tour. And then I’m just showing up. That would be a perfect situation. I’m not there quite yet, but you know, it just takes one or two people, the right people seeing the show, the right reviewers getting wind of it.

And then. Buzz word will travel, but but yeah, so it’s, you know, in, and in another instance my mom lives in Florida and I enjoy being in Florida in the first quarter of the year, you know, Colorado. So I’m doing a little bit more deliberate. Action. You know, where are the communities where I can bring my show to them and build my own tour?

I’d love to tour the southeast, you know, in the first quarter and just continue to perform different theaters within a driving distance. So it’s a little bit of building, you know, like, where do I want to be? Where am I going to be? And can I do a show when I’m there? And then where do I want to go? And how do I just do the outreach that I need to book the, the, the seats and book the fingers and sell the seats. That’s kind of how it works. I’m, I’m really kind of cobbling it together.

Andrea Vahl: Well, that’s it. And I think that’s the, that’s. That’s the trick, right? Is to just relax into it and realize you don’t have to have everything figured out and just take the next right step.

Where is, where are things leading you? And, you know, clearly it’s leading you to This great path. I love how New York came together and and it’s awesome. And I think that’s a amazing way to do it is just pick places where you’ve got connections, you’ve got people. And even with what we did with the moms on him show, you know, we just were happened to be out there and said, let’s go do it.

And then we, we happen to know a bunch of people who showed up to the show that. I didn’t even expect to know anybody at the show. And like all these people are like, I’m in Las Vegas. Hey, I’m in Las Vegas. I know. So that’s super cool. I love that. Awesome. So, the other question I always like to ask, cause I think this is huge.

You’re like such a go getter. You’re so, you know, you’re a driven person. And I think people might look at you and say, Oh, she’s always on the go. You’re optimistic. You’re, you know, you got it all together. But I know that none of us are like that. None of us are immune from getting down or feeling overwhelmed.

And when that’s happened to you, how have you gotten your mojo back? How have you bounced back from. That dip in, in your, you know, energy or whatever

Merit Kahn: it is. Yeah. I have no idea what you’re talking about, Andrea. I’m I’m just fine all the time.

Andrea Vahl: I’m just always

Merit Kahn: right there. Well, I have optimistic personality disorder, you know, the good news is I’m looking at all the time and the bad news is I’m kidding.

There’s no bad news. One of my favorite jokes. No. Well, it’s interesting when, when things aren’t going well, when I’m not sure what the next step is, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I retreat, right? Those are definitely like all of us, you know, those are not the moments we are posting on Facebook and Instagram about how fantastic our lives are.

In fact, I don’t even, I don’t even respond back by text if I’m in one of those like no one will know. I’m a writer. So when I really need to process something, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I, I go to my, my journal. And first of all, a lot of times I’ll, I’ll reread, sometimes I’ll just pull out a random journal could be from a decade ago and just kind of read what was on my mind at that point.

What, you know, where was I, and there’s definitely some themes that I’ve noticed over the course of my life things that have. Consistently overwhelmed me or frustrated me or gotten me excited. And, you know, I, I can remember one time it was actually not too long ago. I went through that exercise and I re reread a journal about was, I was very early, God, it had to have been like the nineties in the nineties, and I was so excited about this deal I just closed for the radio station I was working for.

And it was like, you know, like 400, it was just like nothing, but I was so excited and I was like. Wow. That’s so interesting because later in life you know, smaller deals didn’t excite me anymore. And so, but it was nice to relive some of the past experiences. My dad is really good about that. He has in his paper calendar, he writes down all these.

Milestones and I’ll just get a call like on May 18th, you know, the anniversary of my college graduation. He’s 30 years ago. You graduated. I’m like, Oh, God,

when I get overwhelmed, I write. It’s sometimes I’ll, I’ll just kind of purge out all the things that I’m frustrated and overwhelmed with. And then I’ll, I’ll do what a comedian does and I’ll, you know, look and say, what’s frustrating about that? What’s embarrassing about that? What’s funny about that?

And that’s where I mine my life, my current life for, you know, humor. And for me, humor has always been, or at least. More specifically, when I started studying it, it really was the thing that would turn things around for me faster than any therapy I’ve ever done. For sure. So yeah, you know, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, that’s, that’s a great strategy is how quickly can I find the funny

Andrea Vahl: Yeah, yeah, that’s so great.

And I love, I love a number of things you said in there because first of all, I think it’s great to look back because we can see how far we’ve come first of all, and say, and Hopefully have some gratitude and appreciate that and appreciate our journey, but also see how, how many things work out. You know, it just, it all works out in the end and, and everything that we thought was so, devastating at the time.

And of course, you know, not to negate any feelings you have at that time, but, but also it builds who you are, gives you, you know, resilience. It gives you the ability to. Navigate that situation in the future and gives us all the wisdom we have. Right?

Merit Kahn: Exactly.

Andrea Vahl: So, but I also love, I am such a big proponent of humor too.

I think that if we can look at that lighter side of it and then we can kind of say, wow, you know, it’s life and it’s a crazy ride. And You know, it, it’s there are some things that we can laugh at, even in the darkest of times. So I love that.

Merit Kahn: Well, my, one of my things I say a lot is you know, they, they say that tragedy plus time equals comedy, but nobody said it had to take a long time, to get to the comedy.

So I try to keep that in mind you know, when I’m like, all right, I get to decide how long it’s going to take before I’m laughing at this.

Andrea Vahl: Right. And then you get, you know, you get paid for your comedy and your one woman show. So in a way we’re kind of monetizing the tragedy.

Oh my goodness. Yeah. So it’s it’s definitely, it’s, it’s a good way to look at life. Cause otherwise what would we be doing? You know,

Merit Kahn: that’s my next thing that I’m starting as soon as this Chicago run is complete. I’m actually, I’ve been asked a few times organically by people who had seen the show, you know, can I help them kind of do rework their life through comedy, the way that I did mine, not, not so that they’re necessarily performing it as a, as a one person show, but just the process that I went through. And so I’ve, I’ve developed, I haven’t, I haven’t executed it with a group yet, but that’s coming soon. But the workshop is called re rewrite to rewire, which is a terrible name because it’s hard to say, but it’s really the essence of it.

So it’s really about, you know. How can you rewrite your past to rewire your future? And I’ll take people through the exact same exercises that I went through when I, when I designed my show,

Andrea Vahl: I love, that’s awesome because I think that’s, that’s something that happens so often. People see what you’re doing.

They’re like, Oh, I want to do that. Can you help me? How do, how do I do that? And so, for those of you who are listening and think that maybe you have a one person show that you’d like to write, maybe produce, definitely make sure you connect with Merit and get on her list so that you hear about that event, because I think that’s going to be amazing merits, a great teacher.

She’s done a lot of training and things like that in our local speakers in our speakers association as well on writing comedy and, you know, writing and with all the experience you’ve had. Writing and producing. I think that’s just going to be gold. So that’s awesome. Awesome. So I want to just, before we kind of close out, there’s so many things I want to talk about.

But before we close that I want to, for those of, for people who are thinking about this one person show How about giving us a few tips on selling seats on filling the show? Cause you’ve done a lot of different things. I, you know, you’re out there posting on social media, you’re connecting, but share with, share with our listeners on some of the things that have been helpful in getting that out there.

Merit Kahn: Well, definitely. I think whatever. You know, unique elements are part of your show. There are probably communities around that. So there’s some themes in my show. I talk about some of my days at Michigan state university, which naturally lends itself to wherever I’m performing. There’s probably a Michigan state alumni club in that area, reach out to them.

I was part of a sorority Zeta Tau Alpha. So I reached out to them. I tell, I talk about being married to a narcissist. Well, that lends itself to who are the divorce attorneys? Who are the narcissist support groups, right? Like people that will relate to my show. There’s the content of my show that are natural communities.

So I feel like that’s one. One thing to do, like same thing that you do with moms unhinge, right? So we all have in common. We’re all moms. We’re all a little unhinged, you know, like natural groups for that. But also I think it’s just my network. So the first thing I did was I went to LinkedIn and I pulled up a list of all of my contacts that are listed as, you know, being from Illinois, right. Or the Chicago area. And I, I sent them all a personal note and said, you know, here I’m coming and dah, dah, dah, and lots of people bought tickets from that then. And I have a family and, you know, and so that means that all of my family, you know, individually are popular.

So, you know, who can you bring with you to the, to the show? So I feel you know, there’s. There’s a six degrees of Kevin Bacon. There’s guy figured there’s got to be three degrees of…ever somebody you are connected with somebody who knows somebody in Chicago. So yeah, kind of how I, I’ve been doing it.

You know, if only I knew somebody who is good at Facebook ads and things like that.

Andrea Vahl: I think people. Don’t realize it’s just really doing that, the legwork, the groundwork, the, you know, really getting into that personal invitation, I think is huge. Cause I’ve done, I do a lot, I’ve kind of lean a little bit heavily on the ads, which is, you know, the paid tool and doesn’t always, you know, I’ve, Doesn’t always work exactly the way you want it to.

So, I like that you’ve got to use a multi-pronged approach when you’re trying to sell suits for sure.

Merit Kahn: So, and there’s also press releases and mm-hmm. , you know, event listings and different things like that. But ultimately it’s, it’s hard, you know, . Yeah. Yeah. So,

Andrea Vahl: Yeah. And, and people wait to the last minute to buy.

It’s very nerve-wracking. I will say that. So,

Merit Kahn: yes, it is. So yeah. Yeah. Chicago is a great place to visit early October.

Andrea Vahl: Yeah. So your show, yeah, your show in act, your show in Chicago is

Merit Kahn: October 3rd. Fifth through the eighth, so eighth, seven 30 at night on the fifth, sixth, and seventh, and a three o’clock matinee on Sunday the eighth.

And and in New York, I’ll be at the Manor Club of Pelham on November 18th for an evening show. So anywhere in those areas. Come

Andrea Vahl: see us. Awesome. And then are you thinking about another Denver

Merit Kahn: show at some point? I will definitely do another Denver show. I built a comedy club with a nice stage and all professional lights and sounds in my basement.

So yeah, I don’t get in trouble with the HOA. We’re go. But it’s 52 and I did perform my show down there a couple of months ago. And so I essentially built my own residency to regularly perform. So if you’re in the Denver area yeah, and just get on the list and you’ll be updated about the upcoming shows there, but I’ll, I’ll do that one probably on every other month basis.

Yeah.

Andrea Vahl: Awesome. Awesome. Well, so good. So fun talking to you and like I like to do with all of my guests, I am such a quote junkie. I like to ask people what is an inspirational saying or motivational quote that keeps you going.

Merit Kahn: Well, I have to kind of, cause I’m an overachiever, but when I was a kid, I read a book by V. C. Andrews, it was the flowers in the attic or something. I don’t know why that stuck with me, but I put it on a plaque and in the book, it said everything can come to those who have the desire, the drive, the dedication and the determination. And I truly have lived by that one. But my favorite quote for sure is one that I talk about in my show.

And it’s something that my dad said, and I even used it here earlier today, but it is who chiseled that over the door, which is really the response for any time anyone says something isn’t possible. Ask yourself. And ask them, well, who chiseled that over the door and then go make it happen.

Andrea Vahl: Love it. Love it.

Well, thank you so much, Merritt. Where can people get connected to you? We’ll have, we’ll have this in the show notes as well, but where’s the best place to find out about your shows, your keynote speaking share some of those.

Merit Kahn: The best place is my website, which is the hub of all things. So it’s merit con.

com M E R I T K A H N. And there you’ll find on the homepage, it’s, you know, click the box for keynotes, theater, or comedy clubs. And I do encourage you if you’re inspired at all by what we’ve talked about around the show, click that theater button and then scroll all the way to the bottom. Get yourself on the list to be notified about upcoming shows.

And I always ask for your city and your zip code. Because once I see a lot of, you know, followers in that area, then I’m gonna bring my show right to your backyard. So Awesome. Yeah.

Andrea Vahl: Yay. Very cool. Looking forward to the world tour and thanks so much for being

Merit Kahn: on the show.

Thanks, Andrea. It was a pleasure.

Outro: Hope that was helpful and make sure you grab the free guide top tools for late starters on the website at late starters club. com and let’s turn dreaming into doing.